The First Attempt at the First Draft

After editing for the last couple of weeks we have come up with a template and idea for the first draft of our music video out of the footage we have so far. Whilst we realise that we need to film more and get more footage for us to be able to make this music video more professional, we believe that this is a good starting point for the first draft. However, now we are a little stuck as to which direction to take this video, so in order for us to be able to improve the standard of the video and know where to go from here we will ask for lots of feedback from both our teacher and current students.
Here is our first attempt at our first draft: